letter 32: divorced and reborn
how have you been? how’s summer treating you?
I just got back to cdmx after spending almost a month back in my other home, nyc. not only did I arrive back in mexico, but after many months of hopping around sublets I finally moved into my own apartment! although it’s quite bare, it’s mine and it already feels so cozy.
since moving to this country i’ve known that life would take a different turn once I felt like I could lay down roots, and securing my own apartment would be step 1 along that process. so, as predicted, since moving into this space i’m feeling grounded and ready to enter and exciting period of focus, routine, and ease.
with this newfound clarity comes a desire for me to exhale and release everything that i’ve kept locked in within during the past year of being in survival mode. with that being said, I feel called to share that…
I got a divorce.
around this time last year, it clicked for me that the marriage I was in wouldn’t be tenable for me and I had to make my way out of it. those closest to me have know about this since the very beginning, but I didn’t feel called to share this publicly until i’d created enough emotional distance from the event for it to actually feel like a part of my past. at this point, I feel like i’ve lived many lives since the summer of 2022, so I can reflect on my ‘old life’ and share the lessons versus still being actively in the drama of the upheaval.
over the past year, when i’ve shared the details about life post-divorce and the ways i’ve been transformed i’ve felt like what i’m saying is somewhat unexpected. I think most folks predicted that i’d be in absolute shambles, but instead i’ve genuinely been pretty okay. this isn’t to say that I didn’t enter a dissociative state of shock, terror, and fear upon realizing that I had to reconfigure my entire life plan, but at some point when that wore off it dawned on me that I could figure out how to have fun throughout this process and i’ve existed in that energy frequency ever since. although I had absolutely no idea what was coming next (and still don’t tbh) I knew that the era I was entering would ultimately reflect more of my soul’s true desire than whatever life I previously lived.
I have so much to share about all of this. it’s honestly going to take me a while to purge out all of my reflections and lessons, so beloved reader, you should definitely strap in for a ride.
after a year of incubating, healing, working with plant medicine, and undergoing the process of writing a book, I genuinely feel like a new human being. i’ve gleaned insights and perspectives about womanhood, ambition, dignity, self-respect, overcoming fear, life by design, and loads more that simply would’ve never taken form if i’d remained in my marriage. in many ways, the things i’ve learned don’t feel like they should just belong to me: as i’ve already experienced in intimate conversations over the past year, women especially, need access to the stories of life after divorce that aren’t riddled with depression and despair, but instead freedom, inner revolutions, abundance, joy, and openness to all things great.
i’m ready to be honest about this pocket of my life’s journey because I know now that if I would’ve let fear keep me confined within a marriage that simply wasn’t a good fit, I would’ve forgone accessing the deepest and most profound parts of me. now, being on the other side of this, has opened up a new sensitivity within me to do whatever I can to help women connect with the availability of this part of themselves too; especially if that means having to opt out of a limiting marriage/relationship.
okay…wow…that felt REALLY good to get off of my chest
i’m going to let this sink in and pick back up on things in the next newsletter, but in the meantime, i’ll be sharing more details about this journey in the captions of my IG post, @cat.lantigua, so if you want to stay in the loop connect with me there.
thanks for reading along and choosing to care about my story. you’re appreciated.
cat, a gal tryin’ her best
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